After vetoing too many outfits, Janie had finally landed on a low-cut burgundy crop top, dark denim, high-waisted skinny jeans, and a pair of black ankle booties. She piled her brunette hair on top of her head into a messy bun, dabbed a slight blush on her cheeks, and swiped her lashes with a bit of mascara. Her reflection stared back at her in the mirror. At eighteen, her skin was plump and smooth, and her nose was slightly upturned and dusted with light freckles. The outfit accentuated her wide hips and substantial breasts while hiding her thicker waistline. She gave herself a nod of approval and headed downstairs.
Her step-dad, Randall, was sprawled out on the couch with a Bud Light in his hand while Homer Simpson did something idiotic on the television. He turned to look at her, shaking his head as he stood up.
“Where do you think you’re going dressed like that?” He eyed her outfit. “You know your mother’s rules.”
She sighed. She really didn’t mind Randall. He was nice and treated her mom well, but she hated it when he tried to be her father. Her real dad was four hours away with his new wife, Cici, whom he had met at a strip club while on a work trip. He wasn’t the best dad, but at least he had a biological excuse to tell her what to do.
“It’s fine. I’m just going to hang out with some friends,” she lied. “I’ll be back before mom gets home.”
Her mother worked the night shift at the hospital and pretty much let Janie do what she wanted. There were just a few rules when it came to wardrobe: no short skirts, leave the cleavage to the imagination, and no midriff. Janie was currently breaking two out of three of those rules, but she looked hot, and there was no way in hell she was going to change. She stared at Randall defiantly.
Randall stood there trying to figure out if the fight was worth it. He shrugged. “Alright. You win. Be home before your mother.” He plopped back down on the couch as the dysfunctional yellow family continued to find themselves in ridiculous situations.
Randall wasn’t so bad. He hated confrontation, so even the slightest hint of an argument sent him back to his safe place on the couch. She ran to the fridge, grabbed him another beer, and set it down in front of him.
“Thanks, Randall.” She smiled. “See ya.”
“Uh-huh,” he muttered, reaching for the new beer. She heard the sound of the metal tab breaking as she closed the front door behind her. A black Toyota Tacoma pulled up out front. Janie’s heart started beating hard as she bounded down the driveway.
Daniel leaned over and popped the door open, and she climbed in. “You look great,” he said, placing his hand on her knee and squeezing.
H e swiped his shaggy blonde hair out of his deep brown eyes and smiled. His teeth were perfectly straight, albeit a little too big for his mouth. Janie found him insanely gorgeous. They had been dating for about six months, and she was head over heels. He was gorgeous, smart, and funny.
His parents were out of town, and his older brother had gotten them a bottle of bourbon. They both knew that they were going to have sex for the first time tonight, but neither of them was brave enough to say it out loud. He grabbed her hand, sending a tingle through her whole body. SEX!
She was both excited and terrified. Several of her friends had lost their virginity and had told her that it hurt at first and that there may be some bleeding, but that it was all worth it when their bodies were shaking with pleasure. Just the thought of blood made Janie queasy. When she was on her period, she could barely stand to change her tampon.
Breathe, she thought. It’ll be okay.
Daniel turned on the radio, and “Unbelievable” by EMF was playing. Janie forced herself out of her own head.
“This is my theme song, you know?” She gave him a flirty smile and started to sing.
“I bet it is.” He joined in for the chorus.
When they pulled up to Daniel’s house, he came around and opened the door for her, grabbed her hand, and led her inside. She settled onto a bar stool in the kitchen while Daniel began getting glasses and filling them with bourbon and root beer over ice. Janie wasn’t a huge drinker, and neither was Daniel, but when his brother had offered to get them something, they had both blurted out a yes. She knew she wasn’t the only one who was nervous and hoped the liquor would take the edge off.
She took a sip of her drink, and it tasted like vanilla-flavored root beer.
“Mmmm, this is really good.” She took another sip. “Want to watch TV in your room?”
Daniel’s eyes went wide. “Uh, yeah, um, yeah,” he said as he started toward the stairs a little too quickly.
They sat on his bed, sipping their drinks and watching some awful comedy special on Netflix. When their drinks were finished, they lay next to each other. The awkwardness in the room was so heavy you could almost see it, swarming the room like a mass of mood-killing hornets.
Finally, Janie leaned over and kissed him. His body was frozen and stiff at first but softened up as he wrapped her in his arms. Their kissing became more urgent, and Janie could feel him getting hard. She slid her hand down over his jeans. She had felt his erection before when they had made out in the truck, but this time was different. It was hard as a rock, fighting against his jeans, begging to be released. She started to undo his belt, and he stopped her.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked.
She considered it a moment. She was eighteen and had waited long enough, and Daniel was so perfect. “Absolutely.” She smiled. “You?”
He raised an eyebrow and looked down at his massive hard-on. “I don’t think I could be any more ready for this.”
She laughed as he leaned over to his bedside table and whipped out a condom. She had seen women put condoms on the men themselves in the movies, and she was determined to do it. At first, she put it on upside down, and it wouldn’t roll. She flipped it over but still struggled to roll the latex down over him. Daniel’s breathing had quickened, and she realized that her fumbling was driving him crazy, so she forced it down the rest of the way.
“Success!” she cheered.
“Good! If you had struggled any more, we would have had a major mess on our hands. Well, your hands.” He laughed. She loved that even in this sexual moment, they could laugh together.
He turned on some music, and she kissed him again as he laid her back on the bed. The start was a little painful, but once he had passed that barrier, Janie was beginning to really enjoy it. Daniel was on top of her, moving in and out, and she felt a strange, powerful sensation building up inside of her. Ironically, “Unbelievable” by EMF started playing from Alexa’s speakers.
Daniel looked down at her. “You were right. This is your theme song.”
He leaned down and kissed her hard. Daniel quickened his pace, and the sensation grew more intense. He was hitting a spot in her belly that felt so good that it almost hurt. The growing sensation seemed to have reached a barrier that she couldn’t get past. It felt good, but her body wasn’t shaking like her friends had said it would. Was she doing something wrong?
She shifted her pelvis, and Daniel let out a gasp. His brows furrowed, and his grunts became intense. He let out a low moan and felt him throbbing inside of her. He kissed her gently on the mouth and slipped out of her.
“Uh-oh,” he said. Janie braced herself for a sea of blood, but there was just a wet spot on the sheets when she looked down. Daniel was looking down at himself. There was a ring of elastic at the base of his penis, with a little bit of latex attached.
“It broke,” he said.
“What broke?” she asked, not fully comprehending his words.
“The condom. It broke.”
She stared at the remnants of the condom hanging from his fading erection. She felt a warm liquid oozing out of her. Panic rising in her voice, she said, “The condom can’t break! I’m not on birth control!”
Daniel’s eyes told her that he was starting to panic too but was trying to keep it together. Tears were streaming down Janie’s face. “I can’t get pregnant,” she said. “I’m going to UGA in the fall!” She was screaming now.
“Everything’s going to be okay.” He grabbed his phone. “I’m calling my brother.”
“Your brother?!” she yelled. “Why?”
“He’s been with lots of girls. He can tell us what to do.” He got up and paced around the room, and Janie remained on the bed in shock.
Can you get pregnant your first time? What are the odds? Am I being punished? How could this happen? Damn, he has a cute butt. Her eyes had drifted to Daniel’s butt as he walked back and forth naked in front of her. No! she thought. That butt got you into this mess.
The panic was rising again. Her future flashed before her eyes. She would have to put off UGA for a few semesters. How would her mother react? She had heard horror stories about how a baby could rip you from end to end. The image of her on a hospital bed, heels up, screaming in pain while a baby’s head ripped its way out of her invaded her brain. She froze with fear. The idea wholly petrified her. She struggled to breathe as she slid down to the floor and put her head between her knees. She imagined she made quite the spectacle, squatting naked on the floor, hyperventilating.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Daniel was rubbing her back. “My brother said they sell something called Plan B at the drugstore. You take it tonight, and then we have nothing to worry about.”
She focused on his words. He had a plan. Plan B. Her breathing slowed. Daniel kissed her on the side of the head and rubbed her back.
“Okay.” She stood up. “Let’s go.”
They drove to the CVS in silence, but Daniel never let go of her hand. They walked inside and went to the planned pregnancy aisle, and Janie thought it was a funny name for an aisle full of things primarily used to prevent pregnancy. They didn’t see the Plan B pill.
“I guess we should ask someone.” Daniel headed toward the registers. Janie froze. What if they saw someone they knew? What if someone from high school worked here? What if someone her mom knew was picking up some random toiletry? Terror enveloped her again. The terror of what would happen if anyone else found out.
Daniel had already returned with an older woman with bright red hair and a name tag that read Shirley. “We have what you need right over here.”
She headed toward a locked cabinet. Janie was relieved. She didn’t know this woman. A perfect stranger. The woman opened the cabinet and told them to meet her at the register.
“You might want to grab a box of condoms too.” She winked at them. Janie wanted to say that they already had some--they were faulty, she and Daniel had been responsible--but she just stood there and watched the woman walk away. They paid for the pill, and Daniel drove her home.
He held her tightly before she got out of the car. “I’ll call you later,” he said. She nodded and headed up the driveway.
Janie opened the door. Randall was in the same spot, but the number of empty beers had tripled. “You made it!” He smiled. His smile dropped when he saw her face. She hadn’t thought to check her face for evidence of her meltdown. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she lied, “I’m okay, I just got into a stupid argument with my friend. I’m going to bed.” She knew he didn’t believe her, but one of the great things about Randall was that he wasn’t pushy.
“Okay, kiddo. Good night.”
She rushed upstairs to the bathroom, tore open the box, and read the instructions. Janie tossed the pill in her mouth and swallowed. From what she had read, there was no guarantee that it would work. Ninety-five percent effective still left her with a 5% chance of it not working. She wouldn’t have peace of mind until two weeks from now, when her period was due to start.
Janie wrapped the box in the CVS bag and tossed it into her bathroom trash. She lay in her bed, unable to sleep as the reality of that 5% chance forced her to imagine the various scenarios if the pill didn’t work. She kept the panic attack at bay by holding her comforter tightly in her fists.
Two weeks later, Janie was standing in the shower and looked down to see red streaks sliding down her thigh. For the first time, the sight of her period brought her joy rather than nausea. That bright red blood was the greatest gift she had received. The sight caused her heart, which had felt like petrified wood, a hard knot in her chest, for the past two weeks, to soften and start beating normally. She wrapped a towel around herself, flew into her room, and grabbed her phone.
“Hey there,” Daniel said cheerily.
“I love you,” she said. They hadn’t said those words yet. The last two weeks had been tricky, but he had been the perfect boyfriend. He wasn’t weird and didn’t push her to talk about it. He brought her breakfast and coffee every morning and called her every night. She had known she loved him the night of the incident but had been too scared to say it.
“I love you too.” Her smile felt bigger than the Grand Canyon as she lay back on her pillows.
A knock on her door startled her out of her reverie. Her mom burst in, holding a CVS bag, Randall close on her heels. Janie sat up faster than lightning.
“Uh-oh,” she said, quickly hanging up the phone.